In contrast to the previous episode (click here to read that review), this edition of Superstars was pretty uneventful, and only highlighted the drop in standards across the roster as a whole as we headed towards the end of 1992 and closer to 1993. Nevertheless, it was still entertaining, largely due to verbal comments ranging from cheesy to nonsensical to hilarious.
The running theme concerned Mr. Perfect choosing to partner up with Randy Savage against Ric Flair and Razor Ramon at Survivor Series, and the likelihood of the heels facing Perfect again down the road, partly stemming from comments by Flair and Ramon recorded after Survivors. Bobby Heenan on commentary ran down Perfect throughout the show, being needled by Vince McMahon at every opportunity. Bret Hart’s successful WWF Title defence was only touched upon at the very beginning; otherwise, he was a non-factor on this show, aside from Virgil and Rick Martel discussing their hopes of challenging him for the gold (even though Virgil was submitted by Bret the previous week).
In action were Bam Bam Bigelow (who was returning rather than debuting, and even said as much during the bout, though Vince insisted he was only arriving here), The Head Shrinkers (who lacerated one of their opponent’s lips during the sustained beatdown), Bob Backlund (who was finally wrestling on Superstars, since the hype for his own big return seemed to have been forgotten for the previous few weeks), Damien Demento (whose match included another appearance in the crowd by Doink), Razor Ramon and Crush. Compared to a few months earlier, when we had Ultimate Warrior, The Legion Of Doom, British Bulldog and Sgt Slaughter, this was not exactly the most enticing line-up, though Samu and Demento are the only combatants involved who either aren’t or almost certainly won’t be inducted into the Hall Of Fame someday. How about that?
Elsewhere, Vince McMahon made the first reference of WrestleMania IX being in Las Vegas, and the Icopro push continued during Crush’s match. Plus, we finally had an explanation for Sean Mooney’s recent absence: he had gotten married! He was back here to host Event Center, sporting a wedding ring to boot, though Heenan on commentary hoped his new marriage would fail. This meant that Mean Gene Okerlund was back on Report duties, and with Royal Rumble a while away, the pre-taped promos were restricted to High Energy vowing to reach the top of the tag team division (days after losing their PPV debut to Samu and Fatu), Yokozuna (whose mouthpiece Mr. Fuji talked up his credentials; Mooney called him “Yokozuno”) and The Undertaker and Paul Bearer, who both vowed to take out Nailz, having dispatched of Kamala at Survivors.
In addition, Kim Chee and Harvey Whippleman promised that Kamala would listen to their ever word going forward, planting the seeds for his upcoming babyface turn. Slick showed up for the first time on Superstars in ages, having shown the world that he was now a positive-thinking Reverend at Survivors, and came out with this line: “I saw a man and he said ‘Reverend, I want you to pray for me, I’ve got arthritis in my legs’, and I said ‘brother, just be thankful so many people don’t have legs that have arthritis in’!” I really don’t know what to make of that. Marty Jannetty also had a promo with Mean Gene, after clips of The Rockers break-up on The Barber Shop and Marty’s recent return, where Jannetty noted that he wasn’t back to win titles, but then vowed to take Shawn Michaels’ Intercontinental gold, finishing with the classic cheesy line “I’m back, Jack, and ready to attack! Let’s rock!”
The best thing about this episode, though, was unquestionably Bobby Heenan on commentary. Mr. Perfect had an entertaining rapport with Vince, but Heenan was the true master, finding the ideal blend of running down his enemies, talking up his pals, and just being incredibly funny. Just some of his contributions were noting that Crush had an IQ of about 9, sarcastically saying “whoopee” when Vince discussed Backlund’s big return, saying “that’s definitely not Ronald McDonald out there” when Doink appeared, and describing Hacksaw Jim Duggan (ahead of his match on the next edition) as “the world’s dumbest termite”. If all else fails, and many of your big stars leave to be replaced by Wrestlecrap-worthy gimmicks, just stick Heenan in the announcer’s booth and everything will be fine.
So, not a great edition, and certainly not as intriguing as the previous episode, but The Brain saved the day with some classic comments about the increasingly bizarre state of play in the WWF.
